10 Days 6.2 Million People

When Marta from El Salvador taught a new youth group game to the other students at the Buenos Aries campus of the EJ Institute for youth leaders, the game needed to be played in a shopping center. At first I was surprised; most youth group games are designed either for a room or for outside. Then I remembered that El Salvador is a unique setting: the violence of twelve years of civil war has been replaced with gang and drug related violence.

This matters more to us right now because we're on our way to El Salvador.

We're looking forward to seeing Marta again and to eating pupusas in their country of origin. But we're most excited about having 10 days to train youth leaders from Central America alongside our friend and partner, Felix Ortiz. No country likes to be defined by its darkest moments, nonetheless, as we were reminded by Marta, as we teach Biblical principal of discipleship, we cannot ignore the difficult realities of life here.

El Salvador is the smallest, most densely populated country in Central America and is in particular need for youth ministry because the largest segment of the population (6.2 million people) is between 10 and 14 years of age.

We appreciate your prayers as we head into this new chapter of our adventures.

Pilgrims But No Indians (this time)

The Camino de Santiago pilgrimage trail passes right by the Pilgrim's Fountain Hostal in Galicia where we spend 17 days helping run a training program for new staff with Agapé-Europe. Those who make the trek on foot, horseback or bicycle are called peregrinos (in English: pilgrims) and they walk the camino for a wide variety of reasons from religious, cultural, health and recreational.

You can see captioned photos from this unique training time on our Facebook page (click here). They will give you an idea of what the experience was like. But Annette is publishing a great collection of reflections from our time as pilgrims which you can read at her blog Gaudi's Cross, or by simply clicking here.

Why we were in Duncanville, TX

What do you love so much that you are willing to spend 10,000 hours doing in order to reach a high level of proficiency? 

For weeks after I came across the “10,000 hour rule” (which claims that the key to success in any field is, to a large extent, a matter of practicing a specific task for a total of around 10,000 hours) I asked myself that question. 

Training is on our short list.

We haven’t yet trained others for 10,000 hours yet but we've done enough to highlight our need improve our skills, as we wrote about back in February of 2010. After that post, a friend of ours from our days in Mexico recommended a workshop called Learning that LASTS. In June we were finally able to attend one, along with the academic director of the youth leadership institute here in Buenos Aires, Walter Bongiorno. The training was well worthwhile. We've already been putting it into practice here in Argentina and shortly will also be using it in Madrid and Northern Spain.

Everyone at the "Learning that Lasts" training had experience in training and
were wanting to maximize the impact and application of what they teach. At the core of what we learned is this concept: Do not tell what you can ask. Do not ask if you know the answer; tell in dialogue.

During a break in our training we went to the Fort Worth stockyards.
Now that's a real Texas experience

This foto above was taken on June 16th, 2011... Annette and my 20th anniversary. I'm still trying to figure out how I could have made this dinner more romantic (ja ja). Tim did some calculations that showed that we’re in the proficiency zone when it comes to time spent loving each other: 20 yrs x 365.25 days x 22 hrs/day = 160,710. So that’s something (smile).

The participants in the training workshop came from all over the world.
(click here for more pics on Facebook)

Half way to 90

For my recent birthday Tim gave me an amazing present. He collected  notes and stories from friends and complied them on a secret blog which he revealed to me on my birthday: http://annettes40again.blogspot.com/  You were on my mind whether you wrote in or not, as i explain below. Thank you for enriching my life!

Years ago I came across a book about Elizabeth Taylor and her jewelry. As I flipped through page after page of photographs of exquisite gemstones in their fabulous settings, I thought about the value and beauty of the people we know: the friends, family, and colleagues, the individuals and communities who pray for and support us economically, the individuals around the world who have opened their lives to us. I pictured them arrayed before me as unique and valuable as Taylor’s collection.

This image of our friends as jewels came back to me as I read the notes I received for my birthday. Each note was a reminder of a treasured relationship. Each note made me wish I could sit down over a meal with that person to enjoy the relationship again. The notes also made me remember friendships and expressions of love over the years from people who didn’t happened to write in this year.

In March 2011, Elizabeth Taylor’s jewelry collection was valued at $150 million. On my birthday I felt infinitely richer.

And Three Weeks Later...

A few scenes from our "Amazing Race" (click to biggie-size it)

The past 3 weeks were jam-packed with stress, purposefulness, urgent needs and incredible moments. In our prior blog post we asked for prayer and it was humbling and a good reminder for me to see how clearly that made a difference. There were lots of times this weekend that God showed His presence. I think more than any time in the last few years.

Regarding those 3 milestones that we told you about, here's what happened:

1. Both Annette and I finished teaching our trimester courses (we had students from 7 countries) 
2. With help from staff members, we've nearly finished all the interviews of potential new students 
3. The "Amazing Race/Survivor" sort of retreat was even better than last years (for more details, read below)

It is an incredibly difficult weekend where we put the students thru a battery of "challenges" similar to the "Amazing Race". We get them out of their comfort zone in as many areas as possible. The goal is to create genuine community in a short period of time and accelerated personal growth.

In last place at the moment, this teams has just been told they
have  to walk another 4 miles even though it's nearly 1 a.m.

Crossing the finish line with their team spirit intact

The event is as challenging for the staff/organizers as it is for the students! There is a ton of work and logistics and it is painful for me to see these students we love go thru all that they go thru. But I'm learning to trust the process because in the end (after celebration and debriefing) they really appreciate the experience and the unity among the teams is amazing.

This is how I looked after 3 days of the "Challenge"
with no bath and very little sleep

At the end of the "challenges" part of the weekend - they had barely slept, had walked around12 miles thru the night, slept on the ground with no tents, eaten weird food and done awkward things in public places all while carrying a big processional ark - they walked into the retreat center tired, some limping, smelly and exhausted and we had them sit down in comfortable couches and served them hot drinks (it's autumn here and crisply cool), and then we washed their feet with warm water, bath salts and sponges while our academic director read about Jesus doing the same thing with his disciples at the last supper.

Using 2 bamboo poles and rope, they had to carry all their belongings

What most moved Annette and me was how the students from last year, who this year helped run the event, requested to do the foot washing. As we stood back and watched them lovingly wash and dry the feet of these newer students - doing it as if it were an honor, not perfunctorily but with kindness and dignity - I realized we'd accomplish what we had come to do. We'd passed on the DNA which had been passed on to us. I took a pic with my cell phone and uploaded it to Facebook with the caption "Success!"

Thru your prayers, notes and support, you were part of that success.

Pics, Struggles and Prayer

click image to biggie-size

Here are just a few scenes from this trimester at the youth leadership institute in Buenos Aires... learning, personal formation, celebrations and sharing life together. It is definitely not a boring place to be.

Over the next 3 weeks there will be a more than normal amount of work and stress due to the confluence of 3  milestones:

1. End of trimester exams and projects (now until May 19)
2. Interviews of prospective students for next trimester (starts May 30)
3. A 3-day "Amazing Race/Survivor" sort of retreat for students (May 20-22)

We have also had a lot of students who are struggling with tough emotional, physical, work and family related issues. Our role as spiritual directors is to accompany, encourage and love them thru these times. It is a privilege to serve these dedicated youth workers in this way and, as you can imagine, it is also a significant burden. 

Please pray for us and for them during the next 3 weeks. We need it.

Tell Me What to Do

Scenario 1

While not the people from the story,
these are young leaders we work with

Our encounters had a regular pattern: student “A” would explain the details of a situation she was worried about (with her church, family or boyfriend) and I would listen closely, trying to get as clear a picture of the issue as I could. Then she would ask me what she should do. Instead giving advice, I would try to help her think through the issues surrounding the situation so she could decide for herself what she should do. All the while she would continue pressing me for my opinion.

I confess that the first few times we met I gave in. I had an opinion and was happy to share it with her if it helped. But as time went by I realized that my feedback wasn’t helping and I began to resist giving it. Then I heard from student “B” that student “a” had asked her to be her mentor, so she had a new source of advice. This didn’t solve student “A”'s problems or quench her desire for my input but it helped me see the situation more clearly and it strengthened my resolve not to tell her what to do but to make her responsible for her own decisions.

Scenario 2

For weeks I had been talking with student “C” about a very tense situation where he is youth pastor. A misunderstanding with the senior pastor about work expectations which could have been resolved between the two of them was exacerbated and affected the whole community when the pastor publicly removed the youth pastor’s teenage son from the worship band without talking with the father/youth pastor. I had been talking with him about the situation for weeks but as things reached a critical point he set up an appointment to bring his wife to meet with me and Tim. I was dreading the encounter because I was out of ideas.

a training exercise during our week-long coaching training

Providentially our Spanish colleague, Felix, just happened to be passing through Buenos Aires that afternoon and was willing to meet with us all. Not only does Felix have more experience and more wisdom than we do, but he had recently received training in Coaching. He had told us about the program but that afternoon we got to watch the process. In about forty minutes he was able to find a path through the jungle of details and emotions and help the student and his wife to identify what their next steps should be, create an action plan and a timetable for their implementation. We were all tremendously grateful for his help and I was in awe of what Felix managed to accomplish in such a short time.

coaching training with Sara, Nell and Kyle (friends and colleagues)

These situations highlighted my need to add some more tools to what we use to help people grow and mature. So in April we went through the Coaching training Felix had recommended, along with his wife Sara and OC colleagues who also work in the Spanish speaking world. It was some of the best training we've ever received  and this week we have begun using what we learned

How to Burn Calories and Sleep Deeply

Our new student orientation and "old student" welcome back party

Annette teaching at the Instituto Especialidades Juveniles

We anticipated that the first week of classes would be busy but had no idea what all it would end up entailing. During these past two weeks we have among other things:

• interviewed 4 new students
• interviewed 2 pastors of new students
• hosted an orientation for 10 of the new students which was followed immediately by a welcome party with older students
• prepared and taught 11 hours of class
• participated in 2 staff meetings
• attended a wedding of a student
• met with new full time students to talk about their acculturation process
• met with assistant teachers who are helping us this trimester.

The fact that things are going well at the Institute and that we have a lot of the bugs worked out has meant that God spread us out to meet other needs, specifically the deteriorating relationship of some new friends.

Their relationship has been bad but this week things really began to unravel. We helped set up a meeting with a counselor/mediator from our church here and it became clear they could/would not agree on terms for a contract specifying how they will share time with their newborn baby. The details make it a long story but where it touches our life is that He has spent the night here most of the week. He is very spiritually sensitive in his brokenness so we spend long hours talking. We also spend intense time with her.

We appreciate your prayers as we try to be God's agents in their lives without letting it consume our lives, but for right now we're in the trenches.

How NOT to Ride a Horse

Annette and I recently arrive home after a long weekend at an "estancia" (ranch/farm/plantation) in the province of Corrientes, Argentina. Our friends, Terence and Noelia, invited us along with the Borghetti family. Esteban and Elizabeth Borghetti have been working with us to set up the youth leadership institute for the last 3 years and have become close friends. Their three girls are almost like nieces to us.

The estancia is in the province of Corrientes, N.E. Argentina, an 8 hour drive from Buenos Aires. The landscape was nearly 100% rural and agricultural and a bit like Kansas or Oklahoma... flat green farmland, trees only where planted, sky everywhere you looked and and every once in a while some low rolling hills. (map=> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argentina#Administrative_divisions)

We arrived around 10:30 pm after getting a flat tire and changing it (see pics). This happened just 4 miles from our destination on a dirt road in the dark with mosquitos sucking our blood to their little hearts content.

Every morning after breakfast we went out to the stables where Pucheta, the gaucho cowboy, had horses saddled and reading to ride. The first morning Annette decided to run instead of ride. As the rest of us passed her on our horses she waved and began to jog behing us just as my horse spooked and shot forward into a gallop. I hadn't ridden in years but wasn't too scared because the horse ran smooth and i used the reins to pull it around in a wide 50 yard circle and came up along the rest of the group but when I pulled back and said "Whoa" the horse shot forward into the fastest gallup i've ever experienced and straight toward a stockyard fence. Pulling the reins back to slow him and to the left to turn him away from the 6-foot high fence, I called to Esteban Borghetti for help but just then the saddle slid left and began to go under the horse. Yikes. Somehow I swung my left leg over the top of the horse and pushed off into the air and toward the ground on the right on the galloping horse. I hit hard but rolled and stood up. Everything seemed to be intact as I heard Annette's scream echo off into the distance everyone gathered around my and asked how I was. Pucheta road up on his horse got my saddle back in place, cinched it well and said urged my to get back on. But my leg muscles were tight and my forearms cramping so, as embarrassing as it was, I declined. Annette and I and walked back to the main house where I changed into a bathing suit and jumped into the cold pool to calm the bruised and aching body I was dragging around.

Since the bruises were on my back and rump, Annette took a photo of them to show to me (somehow seeing the bruises legitimized my aches).

Annette and the rest of the group went horseback riding most mornings, came back and ate lunch and swam with me and then usually a smaller group went out again. After a couple days I was able to get back on a horse and have fun with everyone else again.

Annette rode approximately 13 hours total during her 4 outings and had a blast. She kept singing the 80's pop song by Boys Don't Cry, "I wanna be a cowboy" but changed the lyrics to "I wanna be a COWGIRL, and you can be my cowboy". She literally sang it out loud as she rode the horse (and not just once). In case you've forgotten this forgettable song, here's a reminder: www.youtube.com/watch?v=s05jcrJw0as

Hope you enjoy the pics (click here) as much as we enjoyed the weekend... but with less contusions :-)

Anchors and Sails

During our “summer vacation” we were able to spend quality time with our parents, our sisters and their families, some friends, and a few of the churches who support us. Over dinner one off these friends explained that his roots are getting deeper where he lives and then asked us, “What does that look like for you?” 

As I considered this question I realized that our lives have more in common with a sailboat than a tree. Since we got married almost twenty years ago, our location has changed regularly depending on whether we are stocking up with resources for our voyage—for example, getting training of some kind or touching base with those who support us financially—or whether we are unloading resources for the benefit of others, primarily through training or mentoring people who work with teenagers and young adults.

Instead of having roots for stability and nourishment, a sailboat depends on an anchor to hold it firm when needed and on the sails that propel it on its journey. We have a wide variety of people who serve as anchors in our lives. They are models that guide and inspire us and individuals who prevent us from drifting or being carried away in a storm through their prayers and because they know us well enough and are abreast of the issues in our life and work to ask the questions and provide the counsel we need. And we have those who are like sails that propel us into the work we are so privileged to do by their donations, their prayers, and their encouragement. 

We are regularly amazed at the support system we have and we channel our gratitude into prayers for their well being. And we pay it forward by striving to be both anchors and sails for those around us.

Sledding during Summer Vacation

No sooner did classes get out at the EJ Institute than we took advantage of the school’s summer vacation to head north for Christmas. Over the years we’ve learned that the holidays are a good time to visit the US because 1) nothing much happens in our work during that time because everyone is busy with other things and 2) back home we can see a lot of friends and family in a short time. Oh and 3) we like being home for the holidays.   

The 90 degree weather in Buenos Aires made it hard to pack for 30 degree weather on Lookout Mountain, TN but the warm welcome we’ve received - and some Goodhew socks - have gotten us though.

So far the highlight of our trip has been the 6 inches of fluffy snow that came down all Christmas morning. It was not only beautiful but brought us some visitors (see Mr. and Mrs. Snowman) and provided hours of fun for Tim and our nephews.

Hot or cold…we hope your Christmas was wonderful